I’m not gonna lie, I almost couldn’t log back onto my WordPress account – it really has been THAT long. I had to try three times to get the right password and voila, here I am.
I have had this blog and my connected Instagram account for almost four years and for the past two years, I have treated both accounts like my baby. I loved to write, I loved taking photos and editing them. I loved playing around with my photos so I could curate the most beautiful and aesthetically pleasing Instagram feed. In those two years, I spent most of my day thinking of ways I could improve my blog or my feed. When Instagram algorithms changed, it became harder and harder to get my posts noticed and because of that, my blog posts weren’t getting noticed either. I had fallen into the traps of the internet and I wanted to do everything in my power to get out- even if it meant setting aside other things in my life.
It’s a numbers game.
I wanted more followers, I wanted more likes and it was starting to canvas over the original reason why I started my Instagram account in the first place. The reason I ever started my account was so I could get more people to read my blog posts and I don’t know when my focus shifted away from my original goal. I’ve said it once but I’ll say it again. I love to write – whether I’m good at it or not is a whole other story but it’s something that I enjoy. Even my blog posts started to feel disingenuous. Honestly, I didn’t want to write about what dresses or outfits I was wearing each week. Yes, it was great to do once in a while but when that was almost all I was writing about, I felt creatively drained. But, I did it because that’s what everyone else was doing. Moral of the story, I needed a break.
My year-long break away from the internet didn’t happen abruptly. I had originally planned to take a month long break from posting to focus on school. That month turned into three months and that turned into almost a year. The idea of going back onto my account and back into the routine gave me overwhelming anxiety. The pressure of keeping up with everyone on social media felt like a burden. I couldn’t stand to watch an account that I had built from the ground up fall and eventually I logged out of my Instagram account because I didn’t want to be reminded of my failure.
My almost one year break was amazing. I had more time to do other things! Most people don’t know how much time it takes to run an Instagram account or a blog, it is like a full-time job and the hours bleed into every minute of the day.
I came back because I don’t abandon my projects.
I want to take my writing to a new level, write about more serious topics but still keep some of the original. I don’t want to give up on something I worked so hard for and I’m excited for the next chapter.
Have you ever taken a break before? Let me know 🙂
Until next time,
Sindy Spencer