The other day, I was walking home from the flower shop with a small bouquet of white lilies. I had gotten them from a small convenience store because I was too lazy to go to an actual florist and I didn’t have the funds to buy myself a $50 bouquet. It was the day before Valentine’s day and I was seeing people walking around with roses and gifts. There was something in the air that felt like anticipation. It wasn’t really a good kind of anticipation either, it felt like the universe was gearing up for the most romantic day of the year, anticipating flowers, love and that someone special. All I could think about was the story of two people who didn’t get their happy ending.
They met in the most unconventional manner, in the most unlikely of situations. Legend has it, they met in a Wholefoods, but who really knows. She was in his city for one day and they somehow found each other.
The conversation never stopped from there. They were in that period of getting to know each other, the good kind of anticipation where you’re hoping the other person loves the same things as you do.
The texting turned into Skype calls, talking for hours until the sun starts to rise. They never realized that eight hours could pass so quickly, it seemed like time had just flown by. Yet, they were still staring at each other, wondering how you could potentially miss a person you’ve never met in person. Is that even possible? But there was an understanding between them, something about this wasn’t ordinary. There was something special.
They met up 7 weeks after. Fresh off the plane at 11pm, she got into the passenger seat and squeezed his hand. All her nerves vanished when she saw him. It was like coming home to someone she had known forever.
A week later, they sat alone on a ski lift with the world in absolute silence around them. Sharing that moment of silence with all the unspoken words between them- but the silence was enough. There’s somehthing magical about a long ride in a ski lift, all you can see around you is a sea of white- like a snow globe. Either way you’re surrounded. The world enclosed around them and in that moment, she felt like she was exactly where she was supposed to be. Sitting next to him, her head on his shoulder. She stared into his eyes, hoping that through her eyes alone he could see how much he meant to her.
In that moment, they were happy.
Two weeks later, he started having doubts. Maybe things got too real. Maybe he realized she only had eyes for him and she was throwing herself all in. He was scared of getting hurt, perhaps not realizing that she would never hurt him. Perhaps he thought that long distance never has a happy ending – he had done it before and it didn’t work. Why would this be different. Through a call a week later, while she sat in the sat in the dark in the corner of her living room awaiting what felt like a prison sentence, he ended things.
The snow around them came crashing down on their fairytale. The glass broke on the snow globe and all she felt was the cold sting of the snow on her heart. In the heat of the moment, she started to blame him. While she sat there crying, all she wanted to see was that he was hurting too. She wanted to yell but no words were coming out.
She wanted him to say that it was all a joke, a huge elaborate prank. All she could see was him with his head down, his hands in his face. She could tell he was hurting too. Somehow, that hurt her even more. She wanted to plead. She wanted to tell him that she believes it can work. She wanted to tell him that she thinks there is hope, all they needed was a little patience. Things would find a way to work themselves out. She wanted to tell him he was wrong to let go of something so special.
I’m still carrying my bouquet of lilies, my hands are freezing now because I didn’t bring my gloves and the bitterness in the cold was now seeping through my jacket. I’m getting progressviely more annoyed at the fact that Valentine’s Day was the next day and there I was, walking home alone with flowers I had bought for myself and no one to even wish me a happy Valentine’s day. Yes, very pessimistic I know, I threw myself a huge pity party on my walk home. But then, I looked up.
I had to do a double take to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. You go girl. So simple yet so true. It’s not wrong to be sad and dwell on something that was special. It’s not wrong to keep trying for something you want. However, it’s important to love yourself first. Cliche, I know but it’s true. Two people who are meant to be together will end up together one day. It might be in a few weeks, months or even years from now. Give the other person some time to find themselves. But, if you belive – eventually things will come around full circle. You just have to be patient.
For now, pick yourself up and throw yourself into something that you love to do. Pick up the pieces and start fresh.