I’ve been thinking a lot recently about taking chances and risks and why I don’t take a lot of them.

I would say I’m a careful person. I have a fear of the unknown and I don’t like making mistakes. I like to think about everything before I act on it and I only take very calculated risks. I’m scared of getting hurt. I think in some ways, it has made me a more closed off person and perhaps I’ve missed out on opportunities. Who knows…I may have missed out on a new position, new person or new experience.

When I was super young, a tv station came to interview at the studio where I was taking art lessons. My art teacher asked me if I wanted to be interviewed but I was too scared to take the risk. He gave it to someone else instead.

In freshman year, I started talking to this really nice guy who we’ll call…Bob. We met at a party where a friend of mine introduced us. We started talking a lot after that and he was everything that I thought I wanted at the time. It was when things started becoming more real that I got scared. I wanted to be sure that he was THE ONE. I wanted to be sure that he was worth it. Frankly, in all honesty, Bob probably wasn’t …THE ONE but it’s the fact that I didn’t even give him a chance. I backed out before it even started because I was scared of making a mistake. That’s not how we should live in that constant bubble of fear, letting our past dictate how we do things in the present. Everyone is different and it’s important to take the chance.

Both these examples are very small I know but it’s a buildup of these small these occurrences that have made me realize that I need to stop being scared.

I started to wander out of my comfort zone this past summer after realizing that I might have been restricting myself from doing things I wanted to do. It was hard I won’t lie. I felt like I was going against everything I’ve always believed in.

But I realized something. I’m only going to be in my 20s once in my life and if I don’t take my risks now, when am I going to do it? This is the time to say yes to everything, without caring about the consequences. This is the time to be spontaneous. This is the time to take that road trip for one day just for the hell of it. This is the time to book a bus ticket and leave. This is the time to stop overthinking everything and just go with the flow. I’ve come to realize that overthinking things actually stops me from being happy.

There is a time and place for everything and right now isn’t the time for me to sit at home worrying about what’s going to happen one year from now or whether or not I need to get another pillow for my couch because frankly, it doesn’t matter. What matters are the experiences.

I stopped making new years resolutions about two years ago when I realized they were kind of useless. However, I have one for 2018.

Be spontaneous and take more chances.

xoxo,

Sindy Spencer

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